A New Year
First of all, I want to wish any and everyone who reads this a happy new year. I hope all of your nights went well.
I wanted to write because I haven’t written much since I started this, and part of my new years resolution is to write more, even small things.
I know it’s cliche, and I hate being cliche, but it’s incredible to think about where I was exactly one year ago. Jan 1st, 2011. Just to think about the people I was with, the way I felt about those people, the conversations I was having. It’s a little surreal - it’s still so vivid. Sometimes I feel alone in that I feel like I remember a lot of things, little things, and hold them in a regard that is maybe too strong and no one really feels the same way. I’m not really good at letting things go. I don’t know what it is about me, but it’s just something that’s hard.
I started thinking about NYE last year, and where I am today, and saying to myself, where did I go wrong? But I guess the more I think about it, I guess things just went, not right or wrong. It’s hard for me to accept why things are or why they happen, and it’s because I don’t like illogical things. Things have to make sense, there has to be a reason or I don’t want to mentally accept it. It’s definitely a flaw, but it’s what makes me me. I’m going to change the world because of it. Nevertheless, I still wonder how I got to where I am, especially with the people I spent NYE with. I suppose it’s for the best though, cause if those people don’t think twice about me, I shouldn’t for them, right?
Anyway. I say every year I’m not going to make a big deal out of NYE and every year I remind myself why. I don’t really like it. I haven’t ever really had a GREAT experience that’s been like, fuck yeah, new years, wooooooo. Though the last two years I’ve had a GF at NYE, so the experience has been a little different and forced, but such is a relationship. I’m glad I got to spend it with my bro’s this year, we always have a great time, but, though the night started out great, it sorta just spiraled downhill pretty fast. It’s not really what you want to bring in the new year…a bad experience, or not having a good time. Not coming in on a positive note is no fun, but it’s a new year, time to start over, right?
This facade of a new year and starting over is pretty ridiculous when you think about it, but the fact that the idea is now planted in all of our heads does good. What I’m trying to say is, the changing of December 31st to Jan 1st really doesn’t have an impact. Nothing actually changes. It’s just this idea in our head that makes us think differently. But it’s a great thing. I feel that a lot of the times, especially in this country, we, as a people, get complacent and unmotivated. This fresh start idea that new years brings is a welcoming hope and change for many. We all make new years resolutions, and a lot of us don’t really follow through or keep them in mind long after new years, but the beautiful thing is that it doesn’t matter. It only takes 1 moment, 1 idea from one person to change the world, and that’s what we’re all after right? Change? We all want to lose more weight, travel the world, do this and do that. Everyone has a unique goal they set, and even though a lot of people don’t stick with it, new years gives a new found hope to someone every year, and it’s only going to make the world a better place.
Some goals or “resolutions” I have for 2012:
- Lose weight - yes, I know it’s cliche, but ever since I broke my leg and my ankle, I haven’t been keeping my weight down or staying in the shape I want to be in. My sister is getting married in May and my goal is to get down to a lean 200lbs by then. Hitting the gym early tomorrow!
- Write on the blog more - I started this with the right intentions but I got lazy and didn’t keep up with it. I’m going to post more albums, more music, and hopefully write more just like this for whoever reads it and whoever listens to the music I post.
-Do more uncomfortable things - I like to have control of things in my life, especially in the moment. But especially with turning 21 in a few months, I want to just be a little more outgoing and out of my comfort zone and just have fun and not care about stuff. I take a lot of stuff too seriously and I’m gonna try to be a little more laid back
-Get a 4.0 Spring Semester - Joseph, if you’re reading this, don’t get your hopes up. But anyway, I did poorly last semester, not for a lack of effort, mostly because the combination of classes I had didn’t really have the best situation in front of me. This semester, however, my classes regress to the mean a little bit, and hopefully I will have the willpower to push myself and get a 4.0. I want to do it for me and for my future and satisfaction of setting a goal and accomplishing it, but I also want to do it for my dad. He pushes me so hard, to the brink sometimes, but it’s out of love. He wants nothing but for me and my sisters to have a better life, a better childhood, an EASIER childhood than him. He wants me to live to my potential and do my best and have my best be the best. I want to make him proud, and I damn sure am going to try.
-Get back to Freshman year basketball me - My frosh year at VT, I was probably the best I had ever been in my life at basketball. Then I got hurt and I have never been the same. I complain a lot about how I just can’t physically do what I used to do and my rehab hasn’t helped, etc. But I’m really going to make a concerted effort to do stuff on my own and push myself to the limit. Basketball and sports are my life, and I just want to feel good about myself again.
Anyway, thanks for listening. That’s all I have for now..
A.Klam
What are you guys’ goals for 2012?
